He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
sarcasm needs its own font
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
Randomize
