My boss' voice literally gives me gas
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
You ate ashes out of my bong
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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