you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
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