Will you blow on my dice?
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Randomize
