so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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