i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
How does one acquire holy water?
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
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