I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize