I accidentally had phone sex last night
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Randomize
