i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
