just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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