I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
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