He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
