you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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