I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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