who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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