It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
