Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
