Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
