is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Randomize
