If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
