Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
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