Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
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