Grow some girl-balls and come out already
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
We need a shit load of segways right now
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
