Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Randomize
