im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize