you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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