was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Randomize