WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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