I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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