32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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