Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
