so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
