the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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