Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Randomize
