She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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