please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
Randomize
