'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Randomize
