There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
