the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
