Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
it's like heaven, but drunker
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
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