im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
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