please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize