She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
