Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
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