We're facebook friends in real life
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
