i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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