Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize