No awkward lesbian experiences without me
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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