okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
