At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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