At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Randomize