A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
