and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize