I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
