summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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