we made out on top of his cat.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
