Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
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