i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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