saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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