dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
