The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
