So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
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