the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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