I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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