Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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