That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
