just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Randomize
