That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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