I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Randomize